So, I Ran a Half Marathon Yesterday

And holy CRAP my legs hurt! Seriously, though. That’s a really long way to haul this body. I’m so proud of my feet, and my legs, and my core… They worked hard to haul this 210-ish (I’ve been on vacation for a week, eating ALL the things) pound person up 13.1 miles of hills (they said it was all downhill, but they lied). I tried to take a selfie during a super-slow mile, but I failed:

Well, technically I didn’t fail at the selfie part, just the “open your eyes and try not to grimace” part. 

So, here’s how it went down:

7:40: we arrive 15 minutes before race start, but there are 1,000 people here, so the lines for the bathroom are super, super long. I decide to pee inside, and eventually end up in line for the men’s restroom because, well, it has two extra bathroom stalls and I can just turn my back while the fellas use the urinals (even though it’s hard not to look when someone pees for like, 56 seconds! Dude, you’re definitely hydrated, my good lord). 

8:01: I’m finally out of the bathroom and the gun has already sounded and we actually have to run to get in line with our pacer…okay, we’re off! I’m feeling good… I peed away my pre-nerves, I’m listening to some Sia, and my bird is next to me. Hell yes, half-marathon is about to get crossed off the Live Your Life List.

8:45ish: The first three miles are done already? Also, why I don’t drink more Gatorade? That shit is delicious! Oh, sugar. Right. Okay, well. We’re practically down to single digits left already. Bangin’. 

IDFK, mile 6: Dude. Whyyyy am I doing this. I’m already in pain! And I have to keep pulling my shirt down, because running whilst having a, uh, big butt (like I was ever going to sensor that) means that unless you’re in a plain cotton tee, your shirt is going to ride up. This mile is super stupid and I hate it. In fact, I am starting to hate everything. UGH.

I(still)DFK, mile 10: okay, other than the incredible pain in my left foot, I’m totally killing this. Like, really. And bird is being so supportive, sticking with me the entire time even though he could finish so much faster if he left me, he doesn’t. Wait, why did my watch just vibrate? Omg, my race tracker just SHUT OFF. IN MORE THAN THE MIDDLE OF A HALF FUCKING MARATHON GODDAMNIT. Okay, breathe, Deb. We can do this. Just restart the thing and keep thinging. #sogrumpy

11:00, 3 hours in, Mile 12.25ish: so I’m in a lot of pain, but I’m about to be done. About to check it off. Cross the finish line, earn the medal, mmph. So uh, why can’t I see the finish line?! ERMAGHERD. 

11:12: omg, there it is! And they’re playing music! It’s… It’s.. Mambo Number 5?! What the bloody HELL, Ron?! Okay, just keep running. Oh, there are cheers and people with signs.. woohoo! Now I’m flying!

11:12:43.3: I crossed the finish line! Woop!!!! 

Commence chugging water, stretching, and taking a selfie with my bird:

And then we asked a nice stranger to take a nice photo, which still took a few tries because we were all somewhat delirious:

And for the first time since I got my phone, I have a new background photo that isn’t a nebula 😍 

11:20ish: we started the trek to the food (which was about a half mile away, wtf) when I realized I was limping (the aforementioned left foot) so we went to the medical tent. The back of my left shoe was filled with blood πŸ˜• I peeled my sock off of my sore foot, and the fella managing the tent cleaned my heel, bandaged me up, and sent us on our way. 

11:45ish: we made it to the food. The wine was mediocre. The beer was alright. But I had the BEST peanut butter cookie EVER. It was so fantastic. Keep in mind that I’ve been eating junk food for a week, so it isn’t the lack of sugar. It was just a bangin’ cookie. Oh, and I got my picture taken with a donkey:

And yes, I’m still wearing my hydration belt, because it always collects a giant band of sweat, and it looks gross. We were sitting at a table shortly after this when we both hit a WALL of tired. I somehow managed to drive us home and took a nap. 

Today, I’m totally having trouble walking, haha. But we keep being like, oh hey, we ran a half marathon yesterday. It’s a really awesome feeling.


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