Dat weigh-in, tho

So I know I mentioned on my Instagram that I weighed in on Monday and that I was not thrilled, but I didn’t really say why:

January 2nd, 2017. Weigh-in: 224.9

That’s two pounds higher than I was when I weighed in at this time last year. I did make a ton of progress last year, almost 40 pounds worth. Then in the last four months or so, I just let it go. Depression, pain, excuses… you name it. I wasn’t eating well and I wasn’t exercising, and I just let it go. So, here I am, starting again. And ya know what? That’s okay. I’m okay with it. I’m more okay with than I’ve ever been capable of being. And I truly hope that’s a good sign for me.

I asked L. to take some before pictures of me, so here those are:

Plus bonus cat, of course.

Size L Avia pants that my mom got me for Christmas (that I subsequently tore a hole in during a slide in volleyball) and my favorite t-shirt, from a mud race with my brother and his wife (men’s size medium). I could pick me apart for days, but instead I’m choosing to love me, and treat me the way I oughtta be treated, so I can accomplish my goals and bring myself joy. I got this–I fucking got this.

Holy Shit, It’s 2017

When you’re waiting and waiting and waiting for a thing to happen, and then it happens and you’re not even sure what to do with it….

Oh hey, 2017.

Except that I am sure what to do with it–Kick It In The Ass.

Last year was mediocre. It wasn’t terrible, and it wasn’t great. It had moments of each of those… losing one of the most inspiring women I know to cancer, and running my first half marathon, for example. But overall, I don’t feel like I owned it. I feel like I let it happen to me, instead of taking control of it. So that’s my goal for 2017: take the bull by the motherfucking horns.

Goals:

    1. Lose weight. IDK how much, IDK how quickly, but I’m not content with my weight so I’m going to keep working on it. For me, setting numerical goals leads me to creating crazy, unmanageable habits that always lead to failure, so I’m not going to do that. I’m just going to work on it. Be better. That’s all I can do.
    2. Read more. I have 100’s of books, but I tend to end up spending my time watching TV and playing video games, both of which have their merit, but I’d like to spend more of my free time reading and taking in the knowledge the rest of the world has to offer me. I’m starting out with Eat & Run by Scott Jurek, one of the world’s foremost ultrarunners.
    3. Learn to use my sewing machine. I don’t why I keep putting this off… it’s not going to be difficult, and I have so many bits of fabric and things already, so I just need to do it.
    4. Run more races. Last year I KILLED IT with my racing goals (ran multiple 5k’s, a 10k, and my first half marathon) so I want to keep it up. Someday I’m going to run a full, and you never know when the inspiration to do it will hit. I also want to join up with JAM and do some more OCRs, too 🙂
    5. Keep up my volleyballin’. I’ve learned SO MUCH this year from my amazing teammates, and I’m actually starting to feel like a real player. I’m going to keep on keepin’ that up in 2017, because volleyball is BADASS.
    6. More dates with my friends. Sometimes I go months and months and months without seeing people I truly love and care about, and I want to stop that this year. Even if it’s a Google hangout/Skype date, I want to see more of the lovely faces I adore so much.
    7. Happy Planner my life. I got my first Happy Planner (did you know there is an entire community full of planning addicts? I had no idea, but now I’m in it, sooo, yeah.) and I freaking LOVE it (and capital letters, apparently).
    8. Travel more! Bird and I did more travelling last year than we have in years previous, plus I took a girls vacay with Steph, and it was really, really lovely. I want to expand that this year and do even more! Plus I really get a kick out of the gamification of TripAdvisor… 😀

I think eight goals is enough? Who knows. I’ll edit them as they need to be, but right now, I’m pumped.

What about you?  Did you set new year goals and/or resolutions? Is there a difference? If so, what are they? Tell me tell me tell me!

 

Whole30 Slow Cooker Chili!

Hi, friends!

One of my favorite things about Whole30 is that it really gets me cooking…I love to cook, but I usually make excuses about not having enough time to put in. On Whole30 you can’t just swing by Wawa and grab a hoagie bowl, so I’ve been spending a lot more time meal planning/prepping/executing.

There are only two of us, but we both work long-enough days that on Whole30, I prefer to make a week’s worth of lunches at a time. A few weeks ago I made a steak stew in the slow-cooker (brown the steak, throw in whatever veggies you want, add vegetable stock, cook 6-8 hours on low) and it was bangin’, but I really wanted some kick last week, so I made a chili!

I never ate chili growing up because I hated kidney beans with a fiery burning passion (minus the past tense… I still think they’re super-gross). Luckily for me, Whole30 is legume-less (and so is most of my keto intake) so chili is a perfect option. I’m also a big, big fan of using the slow-cooker all winter long, especially when I’m also spending my Sunday prepping a week’s worth of breakfast, two of the five dinners for the week, and trying to cram in as many episodes of Gilmore Girls that one Sunday will allow. Here’s what I came up with for our perfect Whole30 Slow Cooker Chili that serves two people five lunches each (in Rubbermaid LunchBox Sandwich Kit, Food Storage Container, Green (1806231), that I love!):

Ingredients:

  • 2 1.75 lb packages of organic ground beef (here’s looking at you, Kirkland)
  • 2 cans of organic tomatoes and green chiles (our local grocery store has organic no-name-brand Ro*tel, basically)
  • 1 can of organic tomato sauce
  • 2 cans of organic diced tomatoes without added salt
  • 2 stalks of celery, diced (I hate raw celery, but it’s really good in this recipe!)
  • 4 medium zuchinni, diced (I halve them,  cut them into strips, then dice)
  • 1 medium yellow onion, diced
  • 2 cloves of garlic, chopped and pressed for maximum flavor
  • 2-3 bell peppers of varying color, seeded and diced
  • Optional: 1 seeded, diced jalapeno pepper
  • Spices! I added a tablespoon-ish of the following: chili powder, cayenne pepper, crushed red pepper, oregano
  • Salt and pepper to taste, though I always end up adding salt and pepper after I heat it up for lunch, too

Directions:

  1. Brown the ground beef in a sautee pan, drain the excess fat, and add it to your slow-cooker. Turn the slow cooker onto low.
  2. Add in literally everything else. In regard to the spices–use your best judgement. I’m not a fan of measuring in general, but especially with spices. I dump and stir, and periodically taste to make sure it’s as bangin’ as it can be.
  3. Cook on low for 6-8 hours, stirring periodically. Wipe up the tears you cried when you diced the onion/watched Season 5 Episode 22 of Gilmore Girls.

That’s it! You made chili! Eat it every day! 🙂

**I made this before I went back to my long-lost-love LoseIt and started counting calories, so I don’t know about the caloric content. You can definitely add all of this to a Recipe, though, and divide by ten to get a good idea of calories/serving.

WholeLottaDays – Another Round of Whole30+

My brain needs a reset. My depression has been so, so bad…and what have I done to help myself? Eat crap, make excuses about it, and then deal with the rollercoaster of guilt. I know that how I treat my body plays a huge role in my mental health, so enough is enough. I work really well within the limits of Whole30, and Luke prefers a whole food diet, so we are going to WholeTheRestofTheYear (with exceptions for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and some product reviews I have committed to). We kept our Whole30 fairly Keto last time, so I’m planning meals to do that again. Today is grocery shopping day, and tomorrow is kick off. 

Here’s our current grocery list for today:

I don’t bother indicating “organic” “gluten free” or anything else of that nature, because I’m familiar enough with Whole30 rules (and if not, I just google away til I find an answer). And we already have 3 dozen eggs, or those would be on this list, too. 

We’ll be going to Costco first to get the things that provide a substantial cost savings, but then we’ll be heading to our local market (Frecon Farms) and local organic grocer (Kimberton Whole Foods) for the rest. 

Anyone else Whole30’ing right now/soon? I’d love the support and some new Pinterest boards to follow!

So, I Ran a Half Marathon Yesterday

And holy CRAP my legs hurt! Seriously, though. That’s a really long way to haul this body. I’m so proud of my feet, and my legs, and my core… They worked hard to haul this 210-ish (I’ve been on vacation for a week, eating ALL the things) pound person up 13.1 miles of hills (they said it was all downhill, but they lied). I tried to take a selfie during a super-slow mile, but I failed:

Well, technically I didn’t fail at the selfie part, just the “open your eyes and try not to grimace” part. 

So, here’s how it went down:

7:40: we arrive 15 minutes before race start, but there are 1,000 people here, so the lines for the bathroom are super, super long. I decide to pee inside, and eventually end up in line for the men’s restroom because, well, it has two extra bathroom stalls and I can just turn my back while the fellas use the urinals (even though it’s hard not to look when someone pees for like, 56 seconds! Dude, you’re definitely hydrated, my good lord). 

8:01: I’m finally out of the bathroom and the gun has already sounded and we actually have to run to get in line with our pacer…okay, we’re off! I’m feeling good… I peed away my pre-nerves, I’m listening to some Sia, and my bird is next to me. Hell yes, half-marathon is about to get crossed off the Live Your Life List.

8:45ish: The first three miles are done already? Also, why I don’t drink more Gatorade? That shit is delicious! Oh, sugar. Right. Okay, well. We’re practically down to single digits left already. Bangin’. 

IDFK, mile 6: Dude. Whyyyy am I doing this. I’m already in pain! And I have to keep pulling my shirt down, because running whilst having a, uh, big butt (like I was ever going to sensor that) means that unless you’re in a plain cotton tee, your shirt is going to ride up. This mile is super stupid and I hate it. In fact, I am starting to hate everything. UGH.

I(still)DFK, mile 10: okay, other than the incredible pain in my left foot, I’m totally killing this. Like, really. And bird is being so supportive, sticking with me the entire time even though he could finish so much faster if he left me, he doesn’t. Wait, why did my watch just vibrate? Omg, my race tracker just SHUT OFF. IN MORE THAN THE MIDDLE OF A HALF FUCKING MARATHON GODDAMNIT. Okay, breathe, Deb. We can do this. Just restart the thing and keep thinging. #sogrumpy

11:00, 3 hours in, Mile 12.25ish: so I’m in a lot of pain, but I’m about to be done. About to check it off. Cross the finish line, earn the medal, mmph. So uh, why can’t I see the finish line?! ERMAGHERD. 

11:12: omg, there it is! And they’re playing music! It’s… It’s.. Mambo Number 5?! What the bloody HELL, Ron?! Okay, just keep running. Oh, there are cheers and people with signs.. woohoo! Now I’m flying!

11:12:43.3: I crossed the finish line! Woop!!!! 

Commence chugging water, stretching, and taking a selfie with my bird:

And then we asked a nice stranger to take a nice photo, which still took a few tries because we were all somewhat delirious:

And for the first time since I got my phone, I have a new background photo that isn’t a nebula 😍 

11:20ish: we started the trek to the food (which was about a half mile away, wtf) when I realized I was limping (the aforementioned left foot) so we went to the medical tent. The back of my left shoe was filled with blood 😕 I peeled my sock off of my sore foot, and the fella managing the tent cleaned my heel, bandaged me up, and sent us on our way. 

11:45ish: we made it to the food. The wine was mediocre. The beer was alright. But I had the BEST peanut butter cookie EVER. It was so fantastic. Keep in mind that I’ve been eating junk food for a week, so it isn’t the lack of sugar. It was just a bangin’ cookie. Oh, and I got my picture taken with a donkey:

And yes, I’m still wearing my hydration belt, because it always collects a giant band of sweat, and it looks gross. We were sitting at a table shortly after this when we both hit a WALL of tired. I somehow managed to drive us home and took a nap. 

Today, I’m totally having trouble walking, haha. But we keep being like, oh hey, we ran a half marathon yesterday. It’s a really awesome feeling.

❤❤❤

KetoDelivered Review: Coffee Blocks

Because I plan my meals out like a lunatic, it’s taken me awhile to fit the Coffee Blocks from my KetoDelivered box into my schedule, but I finally tried them this past Friday!

Coffee Blocks – $23.95 for an 8-pack (and free shipping in the US!)

I switch between having BPC for breakfast and having hard-boiled eggs. I’ve been having hard-boiled eggs for like, six months now, so it’s going to be BPC time again soon. I have an AeroLatte at work, so I’m fairly well prepped, but totally into the idea of being able to use a to-go option instead! I made them at work, which according to the lovely fellas that make them is how the idea was started–not hauling all yer hubbub to work to brew and blend:

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“Why Coffee Blocks” – http://www.CoffeeBlocks.com

I took one our lovely Star Wars Tervis Tumblers to work with me, and followed the instructions to the T (which is normally not my style, but coffee is deserving of nothing less!). It was definitely easy to make, and there is no waiting or anything of that nature, it’s just ready to go. Some of the reasons why I love it:

  1. It’s made in ‘merica! (Wanna chat about politics sometime? Hit me up at ketodeb@gmail.com :))
  2. Super-high-quality organic and/or grass-fed ingredients–all five of them.
  3. Uhh, it’s EASY. Who doesn’t want their breakfast (or whatever other meal you want to use it for) to be super simple and quick? Especially if, like me, you don’t eat until you’re at work.

My hold-up:

  1. I don’t know why I’m numbering this list–there is only one hold-up. I do not particularly care for the taste of coconut oil. When I make my own BPC at home, I use salted butter because a) I mean, I love salt, and b) it helps mask the taste of the coconut. Coffee Blocks, to me, tastes way too coconutty. That being said, I know my bird will love them, so he’ll benefit from them being in our pantry 🙂

Overall review: While the flavor of the coconut oil is a hold-up for me, that doesn’t change the fact that this a great product, made by what seems to be a great company. For me it’s a 4/5, but for anyone who doesn’t mine the coconut oil flavor, I don’t think you’d ever rate it less than a 5/5.

Thanks for the box, KetoDelivered! To get your own box full of small batch Keto food delivered right to your door, visit this link: http://www.ketodelivered.com/?aic=LVH3BW5

KetoDelivered Review – Stacey Hawkins Garlic Gusto Seasoning

As I indicated in my last blog post, I was recently asked to review a Keto Delivered box–uhhh, definitely yes! Here’s the first thing I’ve put through the ringer in terms of reviews:

Stacey Hawkins Garlic Gusto Seasoning – $12.95

According to the label, this seasoning is intended to be used in place of actual garlic cloves while cooking (2 tsp = 1 clove). It’s salt-free, sugar-free, and gluten-free, and absolutely delicious. The recipe included in the KetoDelivered box, courtesy of Craig at Ruled.Me, was a little heavy for summertime (cream-based) so instead of trying that out, I used this as a seasoning for grilled goodies. First I coated some chicken with it, which was so fantastic:

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Then I used it tonight on olive-oil coated asparagus, which I then grilled with some pork tenderloin:

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Even though both options were great, I definitely preferred it on the veggies… it has the perfect blend of seasoning to complement the asparagus!

There look to be a lot of other great seasoning available from Stacey Hawkins, so feel free to visit her site to check them out. While flavor-wise I’d give this a 5/5, I know that I won’t spend $12.95 on a 2.5oz tin of seasoning, so in that regard I’m going to bring the total score down to 4/5. Definitely delicious, could be a wee bit cheaper.

Later this week I’m going to switch up my meal plan so that I can have some Butter Coffee as my first meal…can’t wait to try and review that next! Thanks for the box, KetoDelivered! To get your own box full of small batch Keto food delivered right to your door, visit this link: http://www.ketodelivered.com/?aic=LVH3BW5

Keto Delivered – Holy Moly, This Is Amazing

You know. I really should’ve known that anything coming from Craig at Ruled.Me  would be fantastic. I’ve known Craig for a few years now thanks to Reddit (which is where I found keto to begin with!) and the Reddit Keto FB Group. I have always recommend RM’s Keto Calculator to anyone I’ve spoken to about keto, and it comes with the added bonus of alllll the other info on Craig’s site (articles, recipes by meal type, the most bangin’ mug cakes EVER).

KetoDelivered is such a fantastic idea. For $39.99/month ($34.99 for the box and $5 for shipping) you get hand-selected, small batch keto foods to try out. You’re supporting a small business that is fashioned around supporting small business…and you get to try new things that you know will fit your lifestyle. How great is that?!

After I finally got the post office to stop harboring my KetoDelivered box, I couldn’t believe I’d never gotten my hands on one yet. Here are the contents I got in the July box:

Coffee Blocks

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I’ve used BPC on and off for several years now, so I’m super-excited to try out Coffee Blocks, which is touted as the “better butter coffee”. All you need is the right temp water in order to make BPC on the go! Seriously can’t wait to try these out.

Stacey Hawkins Garlic Gusto Seasoning

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I couldn’t resist cracking this open and taking a deep smell… wow. Stacey Hawkins sells a lot of food products, and this is going to be amazing, I can just tell. A recipe card was included in the KetoDelivered box that I’m going to make using this… keep an eye out here and on IG for a recipe review!

KETO AND CO Milk Protein Isolate with Green Tea

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KETO AND CO offers a lot of options for “ultra low-carb, ketogenic foods” like brownie mix (whaaaat), hot breakfast, coconut oil, and more, like this protein powder. We use protein powder in our post-workouts at least three times a week (post-lifting, but sometimes post volleyball depending on how hard we worked). I haven’t heard great things about Casein protein, so I’m going to do a bit more research before I decide how excited I am to try this out.

Want to order your own KetoDelivered subscription? Use this link to get started: ketodelivered.refr.cc/LVH3BW5

When Something is Bad, Make It Better

My grandfather once told me that whenever you’re asked how you are, your answer should be “better”, because you should always be trying to be better than you were the day before. I think of him often, and try to live my life this way… Always working on being better. It only recently occurred me just how much of my life I could apply that to.

The Bad

I spent a third of my life being sexually, physically, and mentally abused. From ages 7-13 I was raped, beaten, burnt, and otherwise abused by a family member, and from ages 16-19 I was sexually abused and manipulated by a former student teacher. As a young child, I suffered from what I now understand as common “coping mechanisms”… acting out, passing between needing constant companionship and refusing to let anyone touch me, sneaking and binge eating whatever I could wherever I went, lying about bruises and cigarette burn marks… The list goes on. None of that ended when I became a hormonal asshole of a teenager.. It only compounded. I started self-injuring at 14. My eating disorder was out of control and became a binge-to-bulimia problem. The eventual experiences with the student teacher convinced me that I could “recover” if I was more “sexually open”. I believed that, and I went entirely overboard (the words “slut” and “whore” were used to describe me on this ridiculous website that surfaced in the ninth grade, schoolscum.com) with it. The other “coping” I did wasn’t any better. Abusing prescription antidepressants, drinking, doing those things together in an effort to be done… it got really, really ugly. Every part of my life suffered.

When I finally told someone what went on when I was a kid, it ended poorly. I had to tell the police and the DA what happened, but the police couldn’t get a coherent thought out of the family member (who had been committed for other reasons) and the DA couldn’t question me without me sobbing (in my defense, he was a giant douchebag). I got a nice folder with a case number on it and some mandatory therapy my family couldn’t afford (that was still given to me, out of the kindness of a few special people’s hearts) and the case was filed away with the other millions of rape cases that are never prosecuted. I was a mess. And an easy target for guy #2, who I confided all of this to right before he convinced he loved me and we’d be together forever (he said the same thing to four other teenage girls and is now serving a prison sentence for what he did to them…I couldn’t bring myself to testify). I couldn’t bring myself to do a lot of things, namely have any love for myself. So I couldn’t get better.

The Better

Anyways. I could talk for days about all of that bullshit. How it stays with you, even when you’re health(ier) than you were… it gets in your head and manifests in your dreams and the exhaustion from it all makes actual rest feel like a fairytale. That’s how July usually is for me. It was a central month in both situations, and it always feels so heavy at its approach. So this year, I said, fuck that. I’m not going to just wait for it to happen, let it be terrible, then spend another month recuperating. I’ve been working on loving myself, and taking care of myself, so I took a bunch of days off from work this month and planned fun. A weekend with my family at my house. A weekend at my mom’s and celebrating my brother’s soon-to-be wife at her bridal shower. A three-day outdoor getaway with the best friend a girl could ask for, filled with hiking, biking, boating, and board games. I’m spending time with my love, celebrating our accomplishments and enjoying our life together. I  took this month and I’m going to make it something good, damnit.

It hasn’t been easy. It hasn’t been perfect. But it’s been better, and that’s exactly what it’s supposed to be.

 

*When I said I was going the change up my blog, I guess I really meant it. If you’re still here after all of this, thank you. It’s not easy to read, and it’s even less easy to process. I’m pretty open about all of this stuff, so if you have any questions or just want to know things, you can always comment here or email me at KetoDeb@gmail.com.*

A Shift in the Blog Paradigm…

A few weeks ago, the lovely Lezlee (megastar and ultra-babe behind LazyKeto and Sriachoy) wrote a beautiful, loving, and heartfelt blog about some of her struggles. Struggles that really hit home for me, for a few reasons, one of which was that I’ve been feeling like expanding my blog to be more than just “keto”. Keto is a gigantic part of my life, but it isn’t everything. And it isn’t the driving factor in what makes me “me”—no, that’s my attitude. I’m who I am because of how I act, not how I eat.

With that said, I’m going to be implementing a little shift in my blog—instead of being primarily focused on keto, it’s going to be primarily focused on me (wow, that sounds so conceited!). Sometimes that means it’ll seem like nothing has changed (I’ll still do recipe reviews and post about my weight loss progress), but sometimes that means I’ll be getting a little deep up in here; you’ve been warned. And sometimes it means I’ll be raving about my new disc golf disc and how suddenly my left-hook isn’t the worst thing in the world anymore.

Here I am, feeling rather elated at the thought of making this change:

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I love and adore you all so much. Thank you for reading my blog. Thank you for following my life. Thank you for loving me back ❤